I want to start off with a story...
All he can think about is "the perfect" hit. Sure, he liked to drink. He liked it a lot. He would never do drugs, that just wasn't done where he grew up and he knew what it would do to a person. As he got older, he tried pot, but it was laced with LSD and he never got the same high from smoking as he did the first time trying it. He didn't really like the loss of being able to function "normally". The first time he smoked crack. Wow. He knew he'd f....d up. He was invincible. Nothing could stop him or get in his way. As the crack addiction continued, he lost his job, apartment, car. His self-respect was a memory. He didn't care about himself, his friends, his mom and dad. All he wanted was more cocaine. He would do anything to get more. He lost 40 lbs in a month. He.Did.Not.Care.
It got to the point where all he cared about was what he called "the perfect hit". For him, that meant; smoking, going to sleep and never waking up again. All he wanted was to die. He was too chickenshit to take his life, he wanted to overdose on the drugs. IT NEVER HAPPENED. He never got that "perfect hit".
It took me going through both inpatient and outpatient rehabs to get the idea about sobriety through my thick skull. Some people it only takes one time through rehab, others a little bit longer. Then there are the ones who never achieve sobriety. My clean date off of cocaine is August of 2006. I continued to drink "socially" until 2011.
So why am I starting a blog now? If there is someone else who needs to know that sobriety can be done, I want them to know about my journey. I am back in school working towards my Bachelor's in Social Work and Addictions Counseling. My life has been so richly blessed over the past 9 years. I have experienced a shift in my thought patterns and ideals. I am discovering a new way of life, one that is so mind-blowing to me. When my dad was teaching high school, on one full wall he pasted quotes that he found meaningful. He also would post current world affairs. He wanted his students to be aware of the world around them. The quote of his that I heard the most growing up was one he never shared in his classes that I'm aware of. He probably alluded to it or paraphrased it, but he always shared it with me in his own succinct way-"Shit or get off the pot ".
We have to take charge, take control of our life. Don't just "half-ass" it he would tell me. If you're going to do something, do it all the way. Dedicate yourself to it. How are you going to rise? How are you going to climb out of whatever rut you're in? Find what you believe in. Make a difference.
Until next time....